Kevin's Revenge
by a440
Summary: Long after Is It Collage Yet, Kevin finally gets what he wants..... WARNING: Excessivey graphic violence not for the timid.


KEVIN'S REVENGE by a440

You know what property Daria belongs to.

Warning: excessive violence.

Heavy handed kicks to the door of Brittany's palatial bedroom broke open in splinters before a squad of business suited Japanese gentlemen, opened fire of the former Lawndale High's cheerleader's bodyguards, shooting them dead with Uzi guns before storming the bedroom and grabbing the haplees blonde and dragging her to a waiting Cadillac, slamming her in there, where a burly man jabbed her with a knockout drug containing hypo needle in her arm, before they drove her away...

Long after the drug wore off, Brittany woke up and saw she was bound with heavy rope to a steel post in a basment type of room--and next to her, similarily trussed in the same way, was her former high school teacher, Janet Barch, who was trying her best to break free from the ropes, but to no avail.

"Ms. Barch," said the blonde. "You too?"

"Got me from behind when i was on my way to my Take Back The Night program," growled the man hater. "To think I'd be no match for these bindings, strong as I am!!"

"Don't worry 'bout a thing," assured Brittany. "The police will look for me, and hopefully you as well, and we'll be saved, count on it."

"Correction," said an old Japanese accented man--in fact, an old Japanese man, who looked like the dreaded Osato from the Bond film you Only Live Twice, flanked by twelve suited thugs, each with an Uzi. "The police can never look for you, because after your capture, we staged your deaths in which your family and friends now believe you and Miss Barch have died in a firey car crash.  
After all, there is an old saying: A serpent cannot eat a dragon. Anyhow, permit me to introduce myself...I am Goro Hattori, head of the American branch of The Yakuza."

"The Japanese crime syndicate Mafia?" said Barch. "If I EVER get a hold of you...you MAN...!!"

"Just wait till I break loose...!!" charged Brittany, "an' I'll kick your butts...!!"

"QUIET!!" barked Hattori. "Besides, you wouldn't stand a chance when it comes to the way we Japanese tie knots. And even if you DID break free, my death dealing minions here would shoot you down dead as a cat. And as to why we captured you and your science teacher, that is best to be explained by out latest client..."

So saying, Goro stepped aside to the left, just as his goons parted to allow someone in a black business suit to step foward--

--and upon setting their sights on the newcomer, Barch growled in rage while Brittany screamed in terror, for the one in the suit was Kevin Thomson, a grim look on his face.

"Well...," he said. "Thought you could put one over on the former QB, eh?"

"Kevin!!" barked Barch. "So you sold out to a crime syndicate?!? You've gone too far, you...you MAN!!"

"What's the big idea, Kevvy?" demanded Brittany. "I thought you were left back at Lawndale High!!"

"I was, FORMER babe," replied the former football star, "but I had a feeling you lied to me; so while you were at collage, I secretly planned my revenge, never forgiving you, nor Ms. Barch for what you did to me. So the day you made it big, I sold my parents' old junk we collected through the years an' set out to look for a hit man--and that was when I met these Yak guys, who took me to meet their leader"--here,  
Kevin pointed out to Goro--"an' I told the dude how I dreamed of gettin' back at you an' Barch for the crummy stuff you did to me. So, in exchange for the money I made an' stole, we struck up a deal, an' they brung you here. Cool, eh?"

"YOU had those crummy Yaks to capture me an' Barch?!!?" screeched the blonde.

"Grr, we'll get you for that, Kevin!! URRRRRRRGH!!!!" growled Barch, who tried to break loose and failing.

"Hey--dumpin' me an' liyin' is one thing, ex babe," said Kevin, "but havin' a real mean hypocrite teacher treatin' guys like me an' refusin' to pas me an' the guys--THAT is dirty pool!! Now it's payback time to you meanies!!"

"You?!? said Brittany. "You're too stupid to do that!!"

"WAY too stupid," agreed Barch.

"Too stupid, eh?" said the former football head, who went up to Brittany and said, "Call ME an insensitive jerk, wiil you?!?" before slugging and punching the blonde with granite hard blow to her eyes, nose, face and mouth till she was a bloody mess. Then he reached for her bound hand and proceeded to break her fingers, saying, "Cross you finger at graduation, huh?", ignoring the shrill screams of pain from the blonde. Then he went to Barch and said, "Tell ME to shaddap, will you?" and landed countless punches at Barch's nose and eyes to the point of bleeding. When it was done, Hattori approached the former QB and said, "You've done well, Thomson san. Now...here's something to finish the job..." From here, he handed Kevin two Uzi guns and added, "Just aim and pull the trigger."

"Yay!!" cheered the QB. "Machine guns rule!!" Taking the guns, he aimed them at the fear stricken Brittany and Barch, the former saying, "Kevvy, you can't...!!" and the latter saying, "You...you will pay for that, Kevin!!", and opened fire, shooting them full of holes till the women were dead and gushing blood; after that, Kevin spiked the ground with a football and said, "YAY!! Vengance complete!!" Then turning to Goro, he asked, "What you plannin' to do with the bodies?"

"Fear not, Thomson san," said Hattori. "We've got a special way to deal with that."

"Cool," said the former football head. "Anyhow, thanks for helpin' me out, Hattori sama."

"You've done well," said Goro. "May The Yakuza guide you in seeking out everything you dreamed of, that you never had the chance to do, as long as you respect our wishes. Good luck, Thomson san."

The bodies of Brittany Taylor and Janet Barch were freed from the bonds, cut up into pieces with axes, saws and katana swords and placed in trash bags. After that, the sickening cargo was taken to the Lawndale based Doggie King butcher place (also owned by The Yakuza) where meat based dog food was made. After that, in the week that followed, some say a handful of dogs in the Lawndale vicinity got sick from eating their food...but that was another story.

the end 


End file.
